I am in danger of turning into a crabby old woman. Lots of reasons but it's raining, my kitchen is costing more than I expected (I need a new ceiling? And let's have it hand-painted by scores of magical elves while you're at it) and I can't believe I've still got the heating on in June.

And there are trolls around. Trolls abound in this cyber world evidently and I have no idea how to get rid of them. Now trolls are Swedish I think (Or Scandinavian certainly. Don't ask me, I'm fine on the Greco/Roman gods and have a vague grounding in Celtic myths and legends but anything else I'm lost on. There's obviously a gap in my reading somewhere) and the only thing I can remember is that they reside in the Frozen North and live under bridges. Or in tunnels or similar. (As I said my details are a little hazy) Certainly a place where the light has yet to reach which probably explains their aversion to coming out and being spotted and therefore removed. So how does one get rid of them? (Look don't ask me, mention Scandinavia and I get all confused with hot geysers and Fingals  Cave and go off on a tangent about The Hall Of The Mountain King)* I must admit the only reference I have to them is the Three Billy Goats Gruff and all I can remember is that the Troll seemed incredibly stupid to me and was bested in the end.

But I tell you what darlings, in my lovely new be-sequined heels, you won't 'arf tremble when you hear me trip-trapping over the bridge....

* Or is that Emmerson, Lake & Palmer?